I'm Not A Monster
by CrazyMetalhead
Summary: Sitting alone in the back of a bar is a German man reflecting on happier times, back when he still had his Italian friend by his side. Gerita angst.


I'm Not a Monster

Germany sat alone in the corner of a bar, a small army of empty bottles around him. He was sitting hunched over the table; one hand holding his forehead, the other lying limply at his side. He thought that coming here and drinking the day away would help him. It didn't. If anything, sitting in the corner, listening to the pounding of the crap people called music these days only made him feel worse. He didn't notice a waitress come over until she had started clearing off his table.

"Are you okay? You've been here a while." She said, placing another bottle on her small tray.

"Does it look like I'm okay?" He growled, slightly surprised by his harshness. The woman was only trying to be friendly, after all.

"Sorry, I should've assumed," The waitress apologized, picking up two more bottles.

"No, I should be the one apologizing. I just-"The German began, finding himself unable to complete his thought.

"Had a rough day?" the waitress asked which earned her a half-hearted laugh from the blond-haired man.

"That's an understatement," Germany said, keeping his gaze fixed on the table.

"Why? What happened?" she asked. She had seen guys like this before. They would come in after a tough break-up or something, order a shitload of beers, then leave at two in the morning, feeling worse than when they came in.

"I lost someone…important to me." The nation replied.

"Really? What happened?" for some reason, the waitress always enjoyed listening to people's stories.

"I...I don't want to talk about it." Germany said.

"Well maybe telling someone what happened will make you feel better." Germany looked up at the waitress for the first time.

"You might want to sit down. It's kind of a long story." The waitress pulled up a chair and sat across from the German. After a moment, Germany sighed and began to tell his story.

Germany had told Japan and Italy they always needed to carry a gun, just in case they were ever attacked and he wasn't around to help them. He taught them how to shoot. Japan was naturally good at it, after all, he didn't freak out at the thought of shooting a gun. Italy on the other hand was terrified at the idea of having a loaded weapon anywhere near him, especially if it was in his hands. Germany spent hours trying to get the Italian over his fear of guns. Eventually, Italy got over his fear, but it took almost twice as long to get him to be able to shoot and hit the target. After nearly two months of training, Germany was happy with Italy's ability to shoot and told him he could carry a gun with him. Saying that simple sentence was probably the thing Germany wanted to take back most.

Italy had always been a little in love with Germany. Ever since they first met (after all the crying and begging to be spared, of course) Italy had loved the blond nation. Germany wouldn't admit or believe it, but he felt something for the hyperactive coward as well. The two were always very protective of one another. Someone would say something or do something that hurt Italy, and the next day, a pissed German would be at their doorstep. Italy wanted to protect Germany too, but never could. He was just too scared. That was how it was for a while, Germany protecting Italy, Italy thanking Germany a thousand times for being there. That simple balance changed one day, though, when the two went out to an outdoor market. This was usual for them, but something seemed different. Maybe it was the look of death Italy would give every man or woman that so much glanced over at Germany. Perhaps it was the way Italy was holding onto Germany's arm as if his life depended on it. Maybe it was the fact that Italy had actually followed the gun rule. Germany thought nothing of it though. At about noon, he told Italy to stay put so he could get them some lunch. Italy threw a brief fit, but stayed outside of the restaurant. Everything was fine until a group of five or so people surrounded Italy. They teased him for a lot of things. They teased him about his curl, his 'girly voice,' his bouncy nature, how cowardly he was, the list could go on. Italy had grown used to this, though, so he just took it. That is, until they began talking about Germany. They asked him where his little boyfriend was. They asked him why Italy followed him around everywhere. They made fun of the German to no end. Italy defended his friend with everything, but that didn't stop them. At least, until Italy brought out his gun and shot one of them in the head. There were several screams as the boy fell to the ground. The crowd was backing away from Italy, blocking the entrance to the restaurant Germany was in. Another shot was fired, followed by more screaming. Meanwhile inside of the restaurant, a certain blond nation was shoving his way into the crowd outside. While he was working his way out, three more shots were heard. That made five. By now everyone was panicking. Many people were screaming, children's eyes were covered by parent's hands, and there was already a group of police around the gun holder. Germany finally made his way to the front of the crowd and froze. He could barely see through a gap in the police, but what he could see was enough. Italy was holding a smoking gun, surrounded by the bodies of five boys who couldn't have been more than twenty. The shooter caught Germany's eyes and began to walk towards him, ignoring the commands of the police to stop moving. Italy ran through the police, knocking two down and almost reached Germany when another shot was fired. One of the officers had shot Italy, hitting just below the shoulder blade. Italy fell forward and instinctively, Germany reached out and caught him.

"Italy, Italy, talk to me." The German shouted, shaking the smaller nation in his arms. Slowly, Italy opened his eyes, meeting Germany's.

"Germany," Italy smiled and looked as if he didn't know he'd been shot. The crowd around them was silent. They couldn't have moved if they wanted to.

"Italy, why?" Italy was silent for a moment, and Germany feared the worst. "Italy!"

Italy smiled at Germany, holding the blonde's blue eyes gaze in his own brown eyes. "I…I love you, Germany." Italy's eyes closed, his head rolling to the side and his breath stopping.

"Italy. Italy!" Germany shouted, shaking Italy's shoulder again, praying to every God he knew of that the brown-haired nation would open his eyes. A minute passed and Italy hadn't moved. Finally, Germany gave up hoping and put his head down onto Italy's chest and began to cry.

Germany finished his story and looked down at his hands. The waitress across from him was silent. She couldn't believe what she had just heard. It seemed like something that only happened in movies. After a minute, she spoke.

"God, I'm so sorry." She whispered, her voice barley heard over the pounding music.

"No, please don't. I should probably get home. My idiot brother is probably worried sick." Germany got up and reached for his wallet but was stopped by the waitress.

"It's fine, consider it on the house." She said, picking up the bottles again.

"Thank you," Germany said, beginning to walk away but paused after only a few steps. "Do you know what the worst part is?" He asked the waitress.

"What?"

"I never got a chance to tell him I love him back."

**AN: **Your feels are now my bitch.

So, angsty Gerita oneshot for you guys. I wrote this a while ago while listening to Monster by Big Bang: watch?v=btDd9rOlc2k

Oh and _FOR ANYONE WAITING ON SEQUEL TO WAITING TO DEATH OR THE NEXT CHAPTER OF IN LOVE WITH CUPID:_

Some assholes decided to rob us a few weeks ago and took my old laptop (I have a new one so I can upload stuff again) which had all of my progress for both of those stories. I was literally this close to finishing the next chapter of In Love With Cupid and I was halfway through typing the fourth chapter of Waiting To Death's sequel when they took it. None of my stories were backed up so...sorry about that guys. I'm working on them again but I'm having a hard time remembering what was in the next part of In Love With Cupid and the sequel just won't come out right. So, I'm super sorry about that.

So, that being said, I've also been introduced to Pewdiecry recently so be expecting a lot of that as well.

Love you guys. 3


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